On the day I posted this I am actually 16 weeks pregnant but this is an update I drafted up when I was 11 weeks so I thought I’d share it as my first update..
I feel awful, I never had this sickness with Alfie, I hate being pregnant right now. I am never actually sick as I’m strong stomached enough to stop myself but sometimes I know I should just let it out, the thing is there’s never anything to bring up. I haven’t been eating much at all at the moment, food seems to be an enemy, everything I eat just doesn’t taste right, even drinking my normal squash tastes disgusting.
I keep crying too, nothing is actually wrong, apart from the sickness, but I just feel so hard done by. I can’t wait to start feeling better again. I cry non stop at the moment, hormones I guess, it doesn’t help that Alfie is so clingy and all he seems to say is ‘Mumma Mumma Mumma’.
I feel like something bad is going to happen too, after watching that fucking Eastenders episode where Shabnam and Kush lose their baby, I cried hysterically at that scene, I know its not real, but that particular storyline is very real and could happen to me. I think that feeling of not knowing that all is well is making me feel even more sick than just the ‘morning’ sickness.
That’s another thing, why is it called morning sickness??! Mines in the morning yes, and the afternoon and at night time, its all bloody day.
I just cant wait to have my 12 week scan and know that my baby is okay.