It’s actually starting to sink in now that I am pregnant. I only have 6 weeks left to go and with a 2 year old running round annoying me I’m starting to wonder if this is a good idea.
I have sat and had the ‘I don’t know if I can actually do this’ thought. I sometimes feel like a pretty shitty mum to Alfie let alone another little person needing to rely on me 24/7.
sobbed thought hormonally about how I am going to deal with having two children in nappies (I will be potty training Alfie in the Summer) and what will happen when Jonny goes back to work after his 2 weeks off… ‘How will I leave the house? How will I go anywhere? How will I get dressed in the mornings? How will I have a wee in peace?’
We have never kept it from Alfie that there is a baby on the way and that he will need to help look after his little sister, but he seems to think we are having him on and continues to think he will run the place forever.
I see my friends with young babies and think ‘Thank God that Alfie is a toddler that sleeps and eats at normal times’. Then I realise I’m going to have to go through all that again; sleepless nights, teething, sick, runny poo, the stench of formula milk, washing copious amounts of baby grows, moses baskets, cots, nap times, refusing to nap, the ‘She can’t be hungry surely?!’ look exchanged between you and your other half when she just wont stop crying, the ‘WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP’ scream that all Mothers have done but only a minority of us will admit to.
I am genuinely excited about having another child and I cannot wait to see Alfie’s face when he meets his little sister for the first time. I’m sure it will be difficult at times but I also know with Jonny beside me we will be just fine.